Fall TV

Hello again everybody, I am trying to post on this thing once a week now but I will not always make it. I wanted to post some fall television reviews. I must admit, to a certain extent, I am growing out of the reality TV genre. It seems to me that every year the shows get faker and faker. Don’t get me wrong I still watch hours of reality TV a week but I’m just not enjoying it as much as I used to. Much to my wife’s dismay I have become almost completely consumed with sports. The only thing I talk with her about is sports. To her credit she is nice enough to pretend to care. This time of the year (as I mentioned two blogs ago in “I love me some me.”) it is near impossible to not be consumed with sports. UW football is undefeated and beat Michigan a couple of weeks ago. Not to mention Brooks Bollinger starting for the Jets and Ron Dayne sporting a sweet Madison stoner goatee on Monday night football a couple of weeks ago. The fantasy sports seasons are in full swing. I am already starting to lose interest in fantasy football as I look ahead to the fantasy basketball season. The beauty of being forced to grow up as a Chicago sports fan is that you are always looking ahead because the present and past are too painful. Which brings me to the White Sox. The realist in me figured they were destined to blow it at the end of the season. When that didn’t happen I thought for sure they would be swept by the Red Sox. Now I don’t know what to think. The best part of last night’s sweep was watching the local news interviews with White Sox fans. Oh my lord I think we have discovered the missing link. Dhere leader da mayor was pleased with dat big win over by der in Boston der. Fucking A. Hopefully Bartolo will blank his former team a couple times in the next series or maybe Contreras and El dookie will be psyched out vs. their former pinstripes. Here’s the fall TV line up.

The Office- NBC- Tues. 8:30- Reviewing a non reality television series blasphemy you say! I know I’m sorry. The Office is the best show on network television since Seinfeld. Of course it will probably fail because viewers aren’t smart enough to laugh unless there is a laugh track telling them when the funny parts are. Crappy ass network TV and especially crappy ass NBC doesn’t deserve a show of this caliber. Which reminds me NBC is the worst network ever. How could the once dominant network of our youth which featured such innovative shows as Family Ties, The Cosby Show, Cheers, It’s a Different World, Blossom, Saved by the Bell and Seinfeld put out so much garbage nowadays? Who runs that network? Or should I say who is running that network into the ground. They were behind the curve for the reality boom. They have never put out a quality reality show. NBC has no creativity. They lack the ability to take a risk. Instead NBC puts out drivel, Seinfeld, Friends, and Cheers spin offs. ER is still on for Christ sake. At least CBS had some guts (or luck) to start the reality craze with early successful shows called Survivor, Big Brother and the Amazing Race. ABC is not much better than NBC, but they are finding some recent success with Desperate Housewives, and Lost. The main reason NBC sucks in comparison to ABC and CBS is the decimation of NBC’s sports programming. On CBS you get college football, the NCAA tourney, the Masters, the NFL, and The U.S. Open among others. On ABC you get college football, the BCS championship game, the NBA and most importantly Monday Night Football (which they are getting rid of what the hell are they thinking?). What do we get on NBC? NASCAR, Ice Skating, horse racing, BMX bike racing, X game bullshit. Next thing you know they’ll be showing hockey! What ever happened to the inspirational NBA on NBC John Tesh theme music? Da da da da da duh da da duh duh duh dun dun dun dun dun da da. The only good thing about this has been the death of Bob Costas’ career.
Of course none of these crappy networks can even touch Fox. Fox dominates them in sports, risk taking and the ability to think outside of the box. Remember when Fox was just that cute little network with crappy reception. Since then every network has tried and failed to copy them. Think about all the innovative programming from back in the day Tracy Ullman, Married With Children, In Living Color, 21 Jump Street, Get a Life, It’s the Gary Shandling Show, The Ben Stiller Show, Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, Madd TV, The Simpsons, The X Files, Party of Five, 90210, Melrose Place, Martin. They have kept up the quality programming with The Simpsons, The Family Guy, Malcom in the Middle, Arrested Development, The Bernie Mac Show, The O.C. and 24. None of these shows would have ever been on one of the “big three” networks. Of course Fox has dominated in sports with must see sporting events like The Super Bowl and The World Series. They invented the blatantly trashy reality genre with Cops and America’s Most Wanted. They kept it up with Who wants to Marry a Millionaire, Joe Millionaire, Temptation Island, Trading Spouses etc etc. In addition they have what is possibly the most popular reality show in history, American Idol.

Survivor-CBS- Thurs. 7:00 Survivor is the only show that doesn’t get old after two or three seasons. It must have something to do with the editing. I think it stays the most real. You can tell when over editing changes what is being filmed into some contrived drama (think The Apprentice). They do the same old challenges and have the same old rewards and host on Survivor but for some reason it doesn’t get old. The conditions are still the most extreme and I think that causes people to interact in interesting ways. I think Survivor has kept its integrity by casting real people. So many other “reality” shows have been infiltrated with scripts and actors.

The Apprentice-NBC-Thurs. 8:00. Every season it gets harder and harder to watch the Apprentice. The contestants are more incompetent. The editing leaves the show with contrived drama. The Donald is annoying and has no clear criteria for why he keeps people and why he fires them. Although I do like competition and backstabbing in my reality shows and The Apprentice has plenty of both.

America’s Next Top Model-UPN-Wed. 7:00. Yet another show that I swore off last season. Originally the main reason I watched this show was to see hot 19 years olds parade around in lingerie and bathing suits. I stayed for the girls cat fights and entertaining flamboyance by the judges. Last season though they were missing a key component to the show. THERE WERE NO HOT GIRLS!!!! This season they have gotten back to their bread and butter which is a good thing. Although I don’t know how much more Tyra I can take. I usually just press mute when she starts talking.

Breaking Bonaduce-VH1- All day everyday. Oh my god this show scares me. Never before when watching a reality show have I had to turn the channel because I was too disturbed to continue watching. VH1 should be ashamed of themselves. I can see them pitching this show to Danny Bonaduce. “So Danny basically the show will be about your suicidal behavior and how it affects your young children and co-dependent wife.” It seems that Danny thinks the closer he gets to killing himself (and possibly others) the better it will be for his career. YIKES!!!